I Want Something More

 Have you ever just sat down and taken a serious look at your life and where you are today? Do you ever just stop and think, I know there is more to it than this? Do you ask yourself serious questions such as how can I get from this point A to point B where I want to really be?

Recently, I have done just that. I'm fast approaching 70 and I am not where I imagine I would be at this age when I was 16, 30, and even 50 years old. I want more from life than clocking in at work at 9:30 of the morning and then clocking out at 4.  It just seems like I'm a hamster on a wheel, going round and round and getting nowhere fast. I don't want to do this all my life! So I am working on a plan to change things.

The first thing that needs to be changed is my attitude that I'm stuck in a rut like a wagon wheel, unable to go forward.  I'm not really stuck, but I've accepted that this is how it will be. However, I don't have to accept the situation and it is up to me to change my status quo.

Second, I need to look for opportunities and instead of waiting for them to come to me, I need to get up, go out, and find something different that interests and excites me.  I don't have to settle for a 9-5 job that is repetitive. Yes, it pays the bills, but I can transition to something else of an evening while retaining my job during the day until my transition plan takes off, and then I can say 'adios' to my current job.

Don't get me wrong! My current job pays pretty well for a stay-at-home job. The income is nothing to sneeze at for a customer service agent. There are days I know I am where I'm supposed to be that day as I've heard some stories about customer service agents that make me want to wring someone's neck. I do the best job I can do to give the clients I speak with the best customer service experience possible. I do not brush them off and try to get them to go away. I help them resolve their issues.

But I have always wanted to be a writer. I have been writing since I was 8 or 9 to pen pals, English classes, college classes, jobs, and more.  I've always excelled at putting words on paper. Being able to do it makes me happy. I have currently challenged myself to write at least 400 words a day as soon as I get off work if I have nothing else after work.  

So far, so good. I am excited about getting my thoughts out and into a format that others can enjoy. This is my game plan. Please help me move forward so that I can do something better with my life. Suggestions are welcome in your comments. Thank you so much for being my readers!

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The Beauty that Surrounds Me

 As I take the backroads down to Mom's house, I am surrounded by cornfields and soybean fields.  The beauty of this trip is the ever-changing crops on each side of the road. The story begins in the Spring with the turning of the earth. I often see large tractors turning up clouds of dust as they sow the seeds that begin the kaleidoscope of colors for the following months.  

The brown earth lays unbroken for most of the first week. Then, little by little, equally spaced bits of green poke through the dirt as the seedlings break the ground. With each trip to Mom's for the next several weeks, I see less and less brown and more and more green until finally, I see no brown at all but verdant green be it corn or soybeans. 

While the soybeans grow slowly compared to corn, over a period of 3-4 months the beans attain their full height of 3-4 feet. Corn, now that is another amazing miracle! Initially, corn can grow up to 8 inches or more in a day if the weather is hot and humid, which is the weather that corn grows best.  In a  matter of 6-8 weeks, corn will reach a lofty height of 8 feet or greater. I find it very amazing to see the stages of corn. Each season, the farm fields surrounding my home are planted with either soybeans or corn and occasionally wheat.  I have spent 34 years watching these fields surrounding my home and  along the roads I take to visit Mom grow, mature, and harvested which completes their life cycle.

As a native-born Hoosier, I also think about my life cycle. I grew up a country girl surrounded by farm fields to which I paid very little attention.  Only in the last half of my life have I taken the time to notice my environment and the life that is here.  Compared to a cornstalk, I like thinking I am currently ripening the ears on my stalks and I am starting to turn brown on the bottom of my stalk. How long it takes for me to be harvested, like the corn, is totally up to my master. He and He alone knows when that will be. 

This much I do know, I must bloom where I am planted and I am planted in Indiana soil.  It is here my life cycle begins and will end even though I yearn for other places. I know what to expect here.  I know the seasons, I know what weather to expect in any given season.  It is here I will stay. I am committed to the soil and the life that it brings.

Michaela and Max

 Here in Southern Indiana, the weather is unexpectedly cool.  I don't believe it made it above 70 today as inside, the thermostat says it is 68 and the air conditioner hasn't kicked on once.  I am not complaining.  This is my favorite weather - cool nights, shirt-sleeve weather during the day.  I don't know of any place where the weather is like this year-round.

My 2 dogs, Elsie, a Giant Schnauzer, and Michaela, a Pembroke Corgi, were getting up in years and I wanted a puppy to learn things from them.  I have always done this with dogs and puppies and never regretted it. So last September, I bought a male German Shepherd pup (what was I thinking??!!).  He was 11 weeks old at the time and not much of a puppy, just a medium-sized awkward dog with long legs.  Now, going on 15 months old, he is about 90 pounds and mouthy. He argues with what he believes is unfair treatment (kennel time when I can't keep an eye on him) and has to have his nose on my person most of the time and insists on mouthing me which I don't allow as I consider it bad behavior.

I grew up with German Shepherds but they were always females. These wonderful dogs kept herd on all of us children and probably saved some of us from doing things we shouldn't do. They always stayed where we children were including indoors at night. Hence my memory fails me as I do not remember our dog shedding the way Max does.

I promised myself a couple of years after I got Michaela that when she died, I would not ever have another dog that sheds like she did.  I told people that she shed 3 dogs a day and that wasn't far from the truth. I have all laminate flooring and I can sweep morning and night and still have several dust pans of dog hair.  When I told my vet that grooming her didn't help with all the hair falling out, he told me to quit grooming her so much as that encouraged more hair to fall out.  I tried that too.  It didn't help. I went back to grooming her because it made me feel like I was trying.

Anyway, Michaela, at three years old was such an awesome mother to Elsie when I got Elsie at 8 weeks old. Michaela taught her tug of war and boundaries and manners even though by 6 months, Elsie towered over Michaela. She was good-natured about having a buddy. Michaela quickly learned how to run across the yard, twist sideways and run through the field fence hole, and race Elsie.  

This became a game for them.  The entire time they were racing the perimeter of the yard, they were barking, with Elsie on the inside perimeter of the yard and Michaela on the outside perimeter.  In fact, the barking was so intense that one day my neighbor drove over to see what all the barking was about. He couldn't believe it that it was their game.  He watched for 5-10 minutes while we chatted and said he had never seen such a thing.  Truth be known, neither had I.

Michaela was almost 11 when I got Max.  She taught him to race as well. She also taught him how to greet me when I came up the driveway, which was a bit of a concern for me since it involved Max climbing the fence to be on the same side of the fence as Michaela to do so. She was like a mother to him, cleaning his face and his upright ears. 

With Elsie around to wrestle with Max and Michaela to teach him other things, Max got a great education in his first year.  He also completed 8 weeks of basic obedience training. Then Michaela died the month after Max turned 1. It broke my heart as she was the life of the party.  Always smiling and always glad to see me. She loved tummy rubs and I obliged and informed anyone that she rolled over in front of that she only wanted her tummy rubbed. I was her mommy from the time she was 5 weeks old until she passed. 

I know that someday, Elsie and Max will also pass from my life. Dogs live such short lives compared to ours but they bring us such great joy if we but only let them. I know I have learned from most of the dogs that have been in my life over the years, but I truly believe that my Corgi, Michaela was the closest I've ever had to a mini-me than any other dog I've ever owned.  Thick body, short legs, attention getting gleaming eyes, and always willing to help. Michaela was special, sorely missed, and will not be forgotten.